Read all about
Most of the names on this page are original, but some are from the "Credits" page at the Car Talk web site and a few others were submitted by site visitors.
You are welcome to send me funny names to add to this list, but note that I post only names that could be real. So please don't be the hundredth person to send me Amanda Huginkiss, since that is not a real last name. And I have enough "Dick" names and other bawdy names. Please, no more! Same for Wayne King - it's just not that funny.
There's one exception to my "must be real" rule. My friend, jazz drummer Adam Nussbaum, submitted the hilarious list of "Big Band" names at the bottom of this page.
Eric Oliver sent a boat-load of funny names, and they're in a group farther down the page.
This page has some pretty good ones too: With a Name Like That
Also see my People I'd Like to Know page and my Smileys collection.
|My friend and New Milford, CT neighbor Mark Weiss is a fantastic video producer and audio engineer, and I learned a lot while assisting him as a cameraman at live concerts ranging from rock bands to symphony orchestras. If you need someone to do a truly professional job for your wedding video or corporate event using state of the art equipment, please visit his Video Production web site. Mark also repairs electronic equipment including hi-fi and tube gear, among other related services.|
Al K. Seltzer
Alf A. Romeo
Ali Gaither, Ali Katt
Amanda Lay (real person)
Amanda Lynn (a mandolin)
Andy Friese (as in antifreeze, a real race car driver)
Anita Bathe, Anita Bohn, Anita Dick, Anita Friske, Anita Hanke (real person), Anita Goodman, Anita Hoare
Anita Job, Anita Knapp, Anita Lay, Anita Little, Anita Mann, Anita Mandalay, Anita Plummer
Anna Fender (an offender)
Anna Prentice (an apprentice)
Anna Recksiek (anorexic)
Annie Howe, Annie Matter
April May (a real person I knew in high school)
April Schauer (allegedly a real person)
Art Major, Art Painter, Art Sellers
Athol, Massachusetts (real town)
Barb E. Dahl
Bea Minor and Dee Major
Beau Archer, Beau Kaye, Beau Tye
Ben Dover, Ben Down, Eileen Dover, Skip Dover
Ben Marcata (a musical term)
Bess Eaton (donut shop chain)
Bob Katz, Tom Katz, Kitty Katz
Bonnie Ann Clyde
Bonnie Beaver, MD - she's an Ob/Gyn of course!
Brad Hammer (carpenter joke)
Brandon Cattell, Brandon Irons
Brandy Anne Koch (Brandy and Coke)
Brandy D. Cantor
Bud Wieser (real college math teacher)
Buster Cherry, Buster Hyman
C. Good (alledgedly a real eye doctor)
C. Write (another alleged optician)
Candace Spencer (can dispenser)
Candy Barr, Candy Baskett, Candy Kane, Candy Sweet
Cara Sterio (alleged real person)
Carrie Dababi ("carry the baby" - Dababi is an Egyptian name)
Cheri Pitts, Harry Pitts
Chip Stone (sculptor)
Chris P. Bacon
Chuck U. Farley
Claire Annette Reed
Corey O. Graff
Count Dunn, Count Orff
Coyne Flatt (real person)
Crystal Ball (real person)
Crystal Claire Waters
Crystal Glass, Crystal Metheney, Crystal Snow
D. Kay, DDS
Dan D. Lyons, Dan Deline
Dan Saul Knight
Dear Beloved (real person)
Dick Bender (real sports person)
Dick Bush (real person)
Dick Finder (real name of a urologist)
Dick Head, Dick Hertz
Dick Hyman (famous jazz musician)
Dick Hunter (my junior high principal - really!)
Dick Pole (real major league baseball player)
Dick Rasch (real person)
Dick Trickle (real person, a NASCAR driver)
Dick Wood (real person, emailed me)
Dixon, Cox, and Peters (law firm)
Doris Schutt (Doris Open...)
DooLittle & Dalley (Real Estate Agent in England)
Doug & Phil Updegrave (yes, this is a legitimate last name)
Dr. Baldock (of course he's a Urologist)
Dr. Harry C. Beaver (real OB/GYN, retired now)
Dr. Bender (Chiropracter)
Dr. DeKay, DDS
Dr. & Dr. Doctor (real married doctors from Norwalk, CT)
Dr. Fang (a dentist)
Dr. Shelly Fingerhood (real OB/GYN)
Dr. Gass (allegedly a real anesthesiologist)
Dr. Hurt (real pediatrician in Saginaw, MI)
Dr. I. Ball (optometrist)
Dr. Look (real opthalmologist in Hawaii)
Dr. Looney - a psychiatrist of course!
Dr. Payne (plastic surgeon in Sandusky, OH)
Dr. Robert Fallis, real doctor who does vasectomies)
Dr. Surgeon (another real doctor from Stamford, CT)
Dr. E. Ville
Dusty Carr, Dusty Rhodes
Dusty Sandmann (real person, submitted by his dad Roger Sandmann)
Edna May (or may not)
Earl E. Bird
Earl Lee Riser
Easton West (and of course Weston East)
Eaton Wright and Liv Good
Eddie Current (electronics joke)
Edward Z. Filler, DDS
Ernie Coli (E. Coli) owns a Mexican restaurant
Estelle Hertz (it still hurts)
Fanny O'Rear, Fanny Hertz
Father A. Long
Fonda Dicks (a real women's league basketball player)
Dr. Frank Bonebreak (real doctor)
Dr. Franklin Stein (real doctor)
Gae Hooker (allegedly real surgical prep nurse)
Gaye Jolly (and her sister Holly Jolly)
Gail Storm (Wendy Storm, Dusty Storm and Rory Storm)
Geoff L. Tavish (Gefilte fish)
Ginger Rayl, Ginger Snapp, Ginger Vitus
Gladys C. Hughes (glad to see you)
H. Wayne Carver, MD (Connecticut medical examiner who carves up dead people.)
Hamilton Burger (Ham Burger, character on the old Perry Mason TV series)
Harold Assman (and you thought that Seinfeld episode was just a joke)
Harry Armand Bach
Harry Baals (real person)
Harry Beard, Harry Beaver, Harry Butts
Harry Caray (famous sports announcer)
Harry Chest, Harry Cox, Harry Dangler, Harry Johnson, Harry Legg, Harry Hooker, Harry P. Ness, Harry Peters, Harry Lipp, Harry Sachs
Harry R. M. Pitts
Harry Rump (real plumber from Freemont, Maine)
Helen Waite (credit manager - if you want credit go to Helen Waite)
Helen Wiells (hell on wheels)
Herb Farmer, Herb Rice
Holly Day, Holly Wood
Hugh Morris (a "humorous" name, thanks to Shaun Oriold)
Hy Lowe, Bea Lowe
Hy Marx (scholar), Hy Price
I.P. Freely, I.P. Daly
I. Pullem (allegedly a real dentist)
Ileane Wright, Ilene South (West, East...)
Ima Hogg (a real person, daughter of a Texas governor)
Iona Frisbee (alledgedly a real person)
Iona Stonehouse (also alledgedly a real person)
Isadore Bell (a real person)
Ivana Mandic (a real basketball player)
Jack Goff (my uncle - no kidding!)
Jack Tupp (the perfect name for a car mechanic)
Jasmine Rice (I found this one in my cupboard)
Jed Dye (Jedi)
Jim Laucher (gym locker)
Jim Shorts, Jim Shu, Jim Sox
Joe Kerr (joker)
Justin Case, Justin Casey Howells, Justin Hale, Justin Inch, Justin Miles North (just ten miles north), Justin Sane, Justin Time,
Katherine (Kat) Toy (a real person)
Keelan Early (dying young) - real person who submitted his own name
Kent C. Strait (an optometrist, of course!)
Lake Speed (a real person, NASCAR race car driver)
Lance Boyle, Lance Butts
Laura Lynne Hardy, Laurel Ann Hardy
Laura Norder (law and order)
Leigh King (leaking)
Les Payne - should be an anesthesiologist
Les Plack, a real dentist
Lewis N. Clark (real person, he told me he drives an Explorer)
Lina Ginster (allegedly real)
Lindsay Doyle (There are "Manny Moore" funny names in the linked video.)
Lisa Carr, Kitty Carr, Otto Carr, Parker Carr
Lisa Ford, Lisa Honda, Iona Corolla, etc.
Lisa May Boyle, Lisa May Dye
Lois Price (bargain shopper) and her husband Hy Price
Lou Zar (loser)
Luckey, Chance, a real doctor
Lynn C. Doyle
Lynn O. Liam
Macon Paine (real name - Google it)
Mark Skid (Skid, Mark)
Marsha Dimes (march of dimes)
Mary Annette Woodin
Mary A. Richman
Maude L.T. Ford
Melba Crisp (real person who emailed me)
Mia Hamm (a real person)
Mike Reinhart (My Cryin' Heart - sounds like it could be a country song)
Mike Stand (a real person)
Mike Sweeney (sounds as Mike's weenie), famous baseball player
Minny van Gogh
Missy Sippy (and her mom, Mrs. Sippy)
Misty Waters (a real person)
Misty C. Shore (a real person), Rocky Shore, Sandy C. Shore (another real person)
Moe B. Dick
Monica Monica (real person)
Muddy Waters (famous blues singer, real name McKinley Morganfield)
Nancy Ann Cianci
Neil Down, Neil Crouch
Neil McNeil (submitted by his cousin)
Nick O. Time
Noah Riddle, Noah Lott
Norma Leigh Lucid
Olive Yew (I love you)
Oliver Sutton (all of a sudden)
Owen Big, Owen Cash, Owen Moore (should be tax collectors)
P. Ness, A. Ness
Park A. Studebaker
Pat Downe (a real person)
Patience Wait (a real person)
Pearl E. Gates, Pearl E. White
Penny Dollar, Bill Dollar (real people)
Penny Lane, Penny Nichols, Penny Profit, Penny Wise
Pete Moss and his son Forest
Peter Johnson (a real announcer on public radio), Dick Johnson
Peter Wacko, DDS (real dentist in Calgary, AB, Canada)
Phil Bowles (must be a pot dealer)
Phil Graves (cemetery employee, works with his brother Doug Graves)
Phil Wright, DDS (real dentist in Anchorage, AK)
Phillip D. Bagg (partner of Robin Banks below)
Pierce Cox (ouch!)
Price Wright (another real person)
Priti Manek ("pretty manic", real doctor in Houston, TX)
R. M. Pitt
Ray Zenz (raisins)
Rex Easley (reportedly a real traffic safety teacher at Kamiakin High, Kennewick, WA)
Rhoda Booke, Rita Booke
Rich Feller, Rich Guy, Rich Kidd, Rich Mann
Richard P. Cox (real person)
Richard Chopp (real Urologist in Austin, TX, does vasectomies)
Rip Torn (real name Elmore Rual Torn Jr.)
Rita Buch, Rita Story
Robin Andis Merryman
Robin Banks, Rob Banks, Robin Feathers, Robin Money, U. O. Money
Robert and Reginald Soles (allegedly real brothers: R. Soles)
Rock (Rocco) Bottoms, Rock Pounder, Rock Stone
Rocky Beach, Sandy Beach
Rocky Mountain, Cliff Mountain
Rod N. Reel
Rose Bush, Rose Gardner
Rusty Blades, Rusty Bridges, Rusty Carr, Rusty Dorr, Rusty Fossat, Rusty Fender
Rusty Irons, Rusty Keyes, Rusty Nail, Rusty Pipes, Rusty Steele
Ryan Coke (Rye whiskey with Coca Cola)
Sal A. Mander
Sal Minella, Sam Manilla, Sam & Ella's restaurant
Sawyer B. Hind, Sawyer Dickey (even better, I. Sawyer Dickey)
Sandy Banks, Sandy Beech, Sandy Brown, Sandy Spring
Seth Poole (poor guy has a lisp)
Seymour Bush (gynecologist), Seymour Butz (proctologist), Seymour Wiener (urologist)
Shanda Lear (daughter of Bill Lear, inventor of the Lear jet)
Sharon Needles, Sharon Weed, Sharon A. Burger
Skip Roper, Skip Stone
Sno White (real person)
Stan Still - should own a 'stationery' store :->)
Dr. Steven Sumey (Dr. sue me, real person in Fairmont, MN)
Sue Render (surrender, a real person)
Sue Ridge (sewerage)
Sue Yu, Sue Jeu
Summer Camp (allegedly a real person), Summer Day, Summer Greene, Summer Holiday
Tara Cherry, real gynecologist
Ted E. Baer
Terry Achey (real name)
Terry Bull (allegedly real name, and his brother Eddie Bull)
Therese R. Green, Teresa Green
Thomas Richard Harry
Tiffany Box (a real person, see THIS)
Tittsworth & Grabbe, real law firm
Tom A. Toe
Trina Woods, Trina Forest (tree in the woods, tree in a forest)
Ty Coon, Ty Knotts
Will Race (real person who told me he races cars and on foot)
Will Wynn (Mayor of Austin, Texas)
Willie B. Hardigan
Willie Leak (or won't he)
Winsom Cash, Owen Cash
Someone sent me this: "A coworker whose last name is Naze wanted to name his daughter May Ann Naze but his wife refused."
Then a few months later I received this: "I believe I was that child. My dad (Robert Naze) used to tell me that story all the time when I was a little girl. He and my grandfather both wanted that to be my name because they thought it was hilarious, but my mom refused because she didn't want me to get made fun of as a child. My name instead ended up being Melissa Ann Naze."
Someone else sent me this: "My aunt's name is Debra May Page and she married Patrick Dye, so now she is called Debra May Dye!! Lol!!"
And this is from another Dye: "My maiden name is Mandy Brown and I married Timmy Dye. My name is now Mandy Brown Dye. Our marriage announcement in the local paper read BROWN-DYE. I also know siblings named Rusty Keys and Penny Keys. I almost named my kids May Dye and Will Dye. My husband wouldn't have it!"
Meg Boner sent me this: "This one is real - it's mine. My maiden name was Meg Ann Childress. Nothing exciting. Well, I married Alan Boner, and now I am Meg A. Boner!"
I love this recent submission: "My friend's name is Crystal Ware and has been made fun of all of her life for it. She's been called names like Tupperware, silverware, and the famous underwear."
This is from Misty Cupp: "My maiden name is Misty Cupp (Miss Tea Cup). I am now Mason. My family jokes that I went from a tea cup to a Mason jar. I have a cousin named Crystal Cupp."
And this: "Our last name is Reitz pronounced rights. When my husband and I were expecting our son he wanted to name him William Oliver Reitz (Bill O. Reitz) [but] I wouldn't go for it."
From Kristin G: "When I was a teenager, I worked with a woman named Terry (spelled that way) who married a man with the last name Terry (yes, spelled that way) so her name was Terry Terry. In a neighboring town, many years ago, a family named Teed had two sons, whom they named Warren and Garren. Finally, in our local phone book is a listing which appears as 'Miss, Kris' which, of course, would make her name 'Kris Miss.' Sometimes I wonder what in the world parents are thinking!!!"
From Robert Eisenschmidt: "I have a friend, Bill Land, who named his daughter Alison Wanda Land. His wife changed the name on the birth certificate when she found out."
From Joyce: "I enjoyed your website, especially the funny names. Where I work, there is a woman named Constance Sweat and another named Elizabeth Ard - she detests being called Liz Ard and prefers Beth. I knew another girl who named her son Eddy Bair."
From Phil Simms: "I knew a girl that went to Westside High in Omaha Nebraska named Summer Holiday."
From Theresa Glass: "When I was pregnant with my oldest son I wanted to name him Otto. Our last name is Glass. Otto Glass (auto glass). His dad wouldn't allow it."
From John Klaessy: "My sister, Ann Klaessy (pronounced classy), lives near you in Suffield, CT. She married a guy with the last name of Ho. She took her maiden name as her middle name. Therefore, her name is A. Klaessy Ho."
From Denny Lease: "Here in Walla Walla, Washington (a funny name in itself) we once had a Dr. Ruff and a Dr. Au (pronounced OW)."
From Anna Mirer: "My grandfather's name was Les Cash, his wife was named Dess, and together they owned and operated the Cash Inn."
From Chris Von Feldt: "Kit Wong married Jason Chiu - so she's Kit Chiu (and an architect in Seattle). She said it sounded funny and wanted to hyphenate to Kit Wong-Chiu. I said 'what about the right shoe.' She said to go ahead and stick with the sneeze name."
From Mariah Mann: "My husband's name is Clay Mann. We have often thought of names for children ... Anita Mann, Hugh Mann, Matt Mann, Eileen Mann." [EW: What about Batt Mann?]
From Ashleigh Conners: "My name is Ashleigh Connors, my fiancée is John Tray. So when I get married I will become Ashleigh Tray. All my friends call me Ash. Ash Tray."
From Dan Jeckering: "I went to school with a family with the last name of Schauers (pronounced showers). They had three daughters named Misty, Dawn and April."
From Sam Ann Fisher: "I saw your page of funny names and I thought wow my name belongs here. I never figured out why I got named this but it's hilarious."
From Yvonne Iwasa: "My cousin's wife is Cherrie Crisp. My friend's dad is Wally Wacker."
From Jerry Brown: "My former wife's first husband was named Green, my name is Brown, she later married Robert Gray."
From Cal Ernst: "Back in the early 70s I went to college with two girls, Trudy Will and Cathy May. Probably not very funny on their own, but we had a good time with it back then. 'Cathy May but Trudy Will.' They were both good looking, too."
From Angeline Coffin: "My name is A. Glass Coffin. My daughter-in-law was J. L. Beyt (jail bait). My sister was Betty Carr Glass and is now Betty Glass Ware."
From Coby Unger: "My parents almost named me Thurston Unger."
From Lonna Levine: "In my mother-in-law's family, her own mother's name is Ginger Mintz, and she has cousins named John and Candace Mintz whose nicknames growing up were Pepper and Candy."
From Brittany Shorrock: "My best friend's name is Erin May Read. I don't think her parents realized what they did. LOL."
From Teri Wright: "On funny names, I have came across a few through my work: Justin Towne and Heaven Leigh Day are the most recent. At my previous job I came across Dick Manley and Peter Pann. I have a brother that works for an insurance company, and he could not believe the name of the claimant. It seems he was to be named a variation of his dad's name, Lester, so they named him Moe Lester."
From Tony Franklin: "A colleague of mine lectures part time at a university. His name is Mike Coffey, and confusion sometimes occurs when students or staff ask his whereabouts. He takes his black."
From Kris Woods: "I know of an Air Force Major who's name is Richard, goes by Dick, last name Holder. So officially he is Major Dick Holder. Real person."
"I had to write to you about my aunt. Her name is Winifred, but growing up she always went by Windy. She's had 3 or 4 husbands now, but her latest has the last name of Rump. Yes, I have an aunt Windy Rump."
"My name is Cori Ander (like the spice) and my goal is to one day be part of the pop sensation known as the Spice Girls. I also have two classmates (sisters) Shelly May Dye and Catherine Will Dye."
From Robin Hyde: "I did the orientations for the new inmates arriving at the state prison in Arizona. I would start out my session by writing my name on the chalkboard and then introduce myself by saying 'Hi, my name is Robin Hyde. I understand some of you used to do that for a living.'"
From Tim: "In college, my friend Susie Beaver was roommates with Molly Shaver."
From Brett Kissane: "Michigan's attorney general is named Mike Cox. One of his commercials says "Mike Cox is hard on the issues."
From Harold Jewell: "If operatic singer Kathleen Battle married classical pianist Emanuel Ax, she'd be Kathleen Battle Ax."
From cherokeeblazer: "There was Count D'Monet who of course has a lovely wife named Anita (Anita D'Monet). They have a son named Owen but he didn't like the eurpoean "D" so he is just Owen Monet."
From Charlie Mitchell: "In the early 1990s, I worked with a man by the name of Pepsi diCola. I also know of a man named Coca diCola. The two are not related. You gotta love the Italians."
From Ron Jones: "My first manager at Hewlett-Packard, Palo Alto was Brooks Esser. Not too amusing, until I realized his first initial and last name are B. Esser. I first realized this in his presence, and I laughed out loud right in front of him, pretty much uncontrolled for a good 30 seconds!!! He wasn't amused."
From Cynthia Purdy: "I know a girl named Isabelle-Marie Maddon. She married a guy whose last name is Kersing. In Quebec, we are not allowed to drop our maiden names, but it's acceptable to hyphenate our married names. So now her name is I.M. Maddon-Kersing (I am mad and cursing)."
From Christiana Hundley: "I saw your list and I have to add Dr. Harry Bear in Richmond, VA, Dr. Smiley, DDS in Chesterfield, VA, and Mrs. Clara Fiddler, my elementary school music teacher, John Strange Elementary in Indianapolis, IN"
From Jim Ware: "I'm JR Ware. We have an A Ware and a B Ware in our family. When I was in the Air Force, Sgt. and Mrs. Hohole named their kid Ophelia. Poor girl."
From Jeremy Mays: "Being in the military we get some pretty
funny names with the ranks.
Major Payne - Yes he worked at the hospital.
Captain Hook - A friend's officer in charge of his section.
Colonel Sergeant - My base commander in Korea. To me it's funny because a Colonel is an officer and a Sergeant is enlisted."
From Molly Shackleford: "When I worked at the Smithfield Police Department, in Smithfield, VA, I had the chance to work with a Detective named Burt Nurney. He would get audibly frustrated (over the police radio) if anyone said his name too fast. I gathered that he was not a fan of Sesame Street."
From Dawn Epstein: "I worked for Centronics in the late 70s to early 80s, and we had an electronic parts representative whose name was D.C. Current. He swore it was genuinely his birth name, and added that his father's name was 'A.C. Current, and they rectified the situation.'"
From Becky Friday: "I have a couple actual names for you from the area where I live (Bay City, Michigan): Lester and Esther Festerling (married couple), Rusty and Sandy Pyles (married couple), Sonny & Rosie Holes (married couple), Weiner & Cox Law Firm (Detroit). PS: My last name is Friday, and when I was born, the nurses in the hospital tried talking my Mom and Dad into naming me "Tuesday Friday," as Tuesday Weld was a popular actress then. Also, I have a sister-in-law named Jo Friday."
From Doug Horton: "I had a veterinary who was called Peter Nutt (P. Nutt) and his wife's name was Hazel."
From Bena: "There was a female private I used to know in Ottawa when I was in the military. Her name was Sheila Rose Richardson. She married a serviceman surnamed Hiscock and became Sheila Rose Hiscock."
From Carol Dasseos: "My mother told me about a girl in her elementary school who was named Etta Byrd. They used to tease her every time her name was called by saying, 'How did it taste?'"
From Cory Schaan: "My last name is Schaan and my children are Olivia Newton Schaan and Elton Schaan."
From Ricky Small: "As you can see from my email, my name is Richard Allan Small. I'm actually the third. You can imagine the fun people had with my name. Eg. Small, Dick; Dick Small; Dicky Smalls. I always joke that "Small, Dicks" run in the family. I used to hate my name but now I embrace it, and it's fun to have a funny name if you have a good sense of humor.
From someone who prefers to remain anonymous: "My grandpa's name was John Oder, his son's name (my uncle) was also John Oder. To further terrorize the next generation my uncle named his first daughter Shelly Oder, thus all her life she has grown up being called Smelly Oder."
From Randy Beecher Bacon II: "From the time I've been young I have always been hassled about my name. My full name is Randy Beecher Bacon II (Beat Your Bacon). Yep, I am not the only one. My dad grew up with this interesting name and he decided that I was worthy of his namesake. When I was young it bothered me, but now it is nice to stand out, and a lot of people think its awesome for some reason, also."
From Boyd L. Simonson: "The driver of the truck, which moved our furniture from South Carolina to California in 1995, was named Stu D. Baker. He laughed about it, so it didn't bother him."
From David Sellars: My wife Ruth's nickname was Dusty when I met her. She became Dusty Sellars. As a kid my den mother was Mavis Davis. I had a co-worker name Edric Chun (gotta say it kinda fast) whose nickname was Bone. I had to ask why they called him Bone. They told me, say his name kinda fast. There is a family here in Hawaii named Silva. They named one son Hiho and the other Quick (for real). One of my friend's sister in High School was Nancy Olmstead. She married a guy named Kim Yancy.
From David Way: My brother, for years before he had kids swore he loved the name Noah. But when he did finally have a son, he could not pull the trigger and name him Noah Way.
From Melody Goodnight: Real person, my mom, her name is Anita Goodnight. Her maiden name was Anita Bible, her mother's last name was Johnson, so had she not married my grandpa and still had my mother her name would/could have been Anita Johnson. My name is Melody Goodnight, obviously my maiden name which I took back when I divorced my ex-husband so that I could say ... wait for it ... I was always a goodnight ... lol. Always gets a giggle.
From Jennifer Comeau: My ex-husbands great uncle's name was Otto Moe Beal. He passed away in the late 80's; he owned and operated a service station in Illinois. He begged relatives to name a daughter Snow Moe. Nope, didn't happen.
From Roger Grupp
I have created a fictional brass quintet, the Effenheimer Brass, that is all about funny names I have thought of. Virtually all of them are ones I conceived, and are plausible names:
Felix Austead (feel exhausted)
Mary Ann Bright Trina Corder ($3.25)
Carrie Couture (caricature)
Mike Czech (mic check)
Joaquin DeFlores (walkin' the floors)
Marguerite DeVille (Margaritaville)
Lindsay Doyle (linseed oil)
Neil Dupre (kneel to pray)
Emile Eaton (a meal eaten)
Kristie Hannity (Christianity)
Nina Levin (911)
Ty Malone (time alone)
Rosa Shore (rows ashore)
Walt Smedley (waltz medley)
Reed Toomey (read to me)
My favorites are a little contrived: Doug Love-Fitzhugh (the glove fits you) and Zoe Mudgett Hertz (so much it hurts).
From Eric Oliver
Growing up, our next door neighbors were Larry and Sally Shade. Larry's brother married a girl named Kathy Lamp. When she married into the family, she couldn't resist hyphenating her last name, thus becoming Kathy Lamp-Shade.
While I was in college, I fell ill and had to go visit Dr Kluck. Although he may sound like a bit like a quack, he was the best doctor I ever visited in college.
If you go to Duke Energy's web site you will see their legal team consists of Ruff and Manly:
Would you like your clergy to be Rev. M. T. Head?
Ever know a good man? Now you do: Noah Goodman.
You must add I.P. Looney to your I.P. list.
Elaine Hew was survived by her sister, Annie Hew.
Rocky Stone founded the Hearing Loss Association of America - dare I say he was deaf as a stone?
Harry Boyle kinda disgusts me.
Let's don't forget the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee's girls basketball coach Sandy Botham.
I've been told (but can't confirm) that my friend's father, David Sparks, is partners with Rich Burns and they sell fire insurance.
I know a Simi Baer but we can't forget the rest of the clan: Norma Lee, Ima, Ted E., Teddi, Harry, Rhoda, and Stella.
There is a Dr. Cockburn, a urologist in Tampa, FL.
Names that should be real, but I have never met:
* Ima Klotz and her sister, Sasha Klotz
* Marv Ellis
* Cole Durkee
* Thor Luther
* Mona Little, and after marriage Mona Little-Moore (or Mona Lott and Mona Lott-Moore)
* Mark A. Roni
* Dee Flower
* Braxton Hicks
* Michael Otto Nuys
* M.T. Toombe
* Ima Gaye-Barr
* Manny Bones
* Myra Mains
* Dusty Carr
* Mary Gold
* Bob Sledd
I worked with a guy that named his sons Hunter, Fisher, Trapper, and Skinner ... poor kids.
I know you said no more bawdy names, but in college there were two girls that took more than their share of abuse. One of them was named Jenny Titsworth (and she took more than her share of those too). The other was Michelle Elaine Rector, aka Michelle E. Rector. I wouldn't share them if they weren't true...
My full name is Eric Paul Oliver, but until I was about 7 I was teased by my friends and called Eric P. All over. I trust my secret is safe with you. :-)
BIG BAND NAMES
DEWEY NEEDHAM & HIS JAZZ ORCH.
Al Tissimo (lead trumpet), Pops de Vane (old time 1st trumpet), Plenty Haitönen (1st trumpet Finland) Willy Makit or Kenny Makit (1st trumpet), Buster Bloodvessel (1st trumpet), Felix Cited, Howie Spitz, Ames Toulouse, Chops O'Gonagen (or Lips O' Gonagen), Ed Down, Rusty Piston, Buster Hinote, Diz Astor, Noah Count
Hy Register,Slip Shod,Willie Show, Bjent Slide, Adolf Tune, Mosley Late, Scott Noslide (on valve trombone), Terry Billnoise, Moe Zaic, Justin Tune, Lew Slips (bass trombone), Keith Myath, (toothless bass trombone)
Kenny Read - lead alto, Izzy Sharp - lead alto, Mosley Flat - 2nd alto, Les Tone - 2nd alto, Manny Notes - 1st tenor, Mai-Lik - Chinese 1st tenor, Reed Mylips - 1st tenor, Otto Tune - 2nd tenor, Ron Key - 2nd tenor, Lee King - 2nd tenor, Olaf Awhiskey - Swedish tenor, Mustafa Fix - Arabic tenor, Selmer Horn - broke tenor player, Seymour Butts - baritone, Rusty Keys - baritone, Arthur Chorus - baritone, Ima Growler - baritone
Bret Support - Will Trill - Mosley Sharpe - Lotta Air - Vera Piercing (piccolo)
R. Peggio - Manny Wong Kordz - Phil Allgaps - Hugo Tommy Head (piano bar) - Sven Lightsarlo (Swedish piano bar) - Thelonious Gallintown (gay pianist)
Ron Lines - Pete Ziccato (Italian) - Toulouse De Beat (French) - Buster Gutt - Warren Fretts - Uguludunga (African)
Ron Kords - Rex Yurears (rock guitarist) - Ian Gee & Rudy Mentry (folk guitarists) - Kent Reed - Segovia Carpet (classical guitarist) - Django Bells - Rock Enrol - Sten Gunn (Swedish rock guitarist)
Phil Dinn - Don Swing - No-Tai-Ming (Vietnamese) - Owen Transport (Welsh) - Will Travel - Arturo Verciz (South American) - Knut Loose (Danish) - Ching Boom (Chinese) - I.Q. Lowe
Perry Diddle - Jim Nasium - Tim Bales
Adolf Fiddler - Phil Harmonic (1st Violin) - Squeekin Myassoff, Fay Kerr (2nd violin) - Vi Baratto - Vera Sharp (violas) - Beau Braker, Donna Octif (Cello)
Dinah Sore - Betty Whont - Sonia Papermoon - Sharon Sharalijk - Lois D. Nominator - Barbara Seville - Tamara Nevercomes - Tamara Zanutha Day - Anne Fetamin - Anna Rexia
Amanda B. Reckonwith - Ben Dover (gay)
Ko & Nova Caine - Sam & Janet Evening
Norma Stitts (or E. Norma Stitts) - Eileen Back - Eileen Dover - Annie Keewildoo - Sheila Blige (or Sheila O'Blige) - Marsha Dymes - Lotta Head - Terri Belle (French) - Kay Sirah-Sirah (Anglo/Egyptian) Deborah C. Ewe (singer with adenoid problem) - Mozarella Fitzgerald (Italian jazz singer)
FEMALE BLUES SINGERS
Bertha De Blues - Elefants Gerald
Annie Tune 'n' Annie Key
Amos B.Haven - Denny Nodsout - Lee Thargic - Amos Havacik Daly (Jewish,Slovak,Irishman) - Chester Gigolo - Payne N. Diaz - Kanta Singh (Indian) - Barry Tone
COUNTRY & WESTERN SINGERS
Lars Roundup (Swedish) - Abner Selfabal
Rachel Prejudice - Freda Slaves - Sybil Rights (South African trio) - Anita Leigh - Eustace Crew
Hal E. Tosis
BAND LEADERS / CONDUCTORS
Dewey Needham - Ron Tempo - Ivor Wiggon - Walter Mess - Charles Louis D'Inse (French) - Voorhees A. Jollygoodfellow - Owen De Guys (and his wife Leigh De Guys) - Yuron Yurown (Israeli) - Seldon Wright - Kent Count - Ofun Wong (Chinese) - Kick der Raas (Dutch) - Count Immov - Izzy Goudinov - Phil Harmonic (classical) - Dick Dolittle
MASTER OF CEREMONIES
Darryl B. Moreticome
Lucius N. Savuma
Lew Swires - Mike Rafone - Mustafa Djoint - Mike Fawlty - Elco Short - Constance Humm
Justin Case - Flip M. Awn - Jerry Rigg
Noah I. Cue
B. A. Dick - Rick O'Shae
Miss Inga Page
Oliver Beer (English) - Mannheim Stoned (German) - Manuel Lehba (Spanish) - Ram Shackle (Indian), Fu Kiu (Chinese) - Wang Kerr - Tucker Inn
Ben Z. Dreen - Oliver de Rode - Peekup Andropv
Alice Verboten (German - discipline) - Hertz Von Rental - Ate De Jong (Dutch - child care) Walter Walcarpitz (accomodation)
Morey Ziduals - Scott Free - Lou Syfer
PATRONS (OR SPONSORS)
Baron Wasteland - Lord Elpuss - Count DMeaunay
Al Fresco (Outdoor Festivals) - Gig Booker - Willy Paye - Rip Orff
Robin Bastard - Anthony Bluitt - Lou Debred
PUBLICITY & PR
Igg Norriss - Ed Vertise - Mai Ling (China)
FAN CLUB PRESIDENT
Doug de Ban
Dewey, Cheatham, & Howe
Zip Herrup - I. B. Sewinn
Andy Pasta - Harry Vederci - Laika McAroni - Sal Monella - Art Burne - Mo Zarella - Al Dente
Theo Log (Dutch) - C. de Light - Hal L. Ujah
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Entire contents of this web site Copyright © 1997- by Ethan Winer. All rights reserved.